Dyson Hand Dryer: "Blades of Glory"

Before eating at a local joint last night, I went to wash my hands.

There were three hand-drying options:

1. Paper.
2. Air blower.
3. Slick-looking Dyson hand-dryer.

I tried the Dyson and thought that it was mostly stupid. Then I watched a video about it and have revised my opinion. It’s completely stupid.

Let’s look at the reasons that Dyson gives for needing a new system:

1. Dyson says that the normal air blower works by using warm air to cause the water on your hands to evaporate. Ok. But he seems to think that evaporation means “boiling water and making steam on your hands.” Um, that would hurt, wouldn’t it?

Evaporation isn’t the same as boiling, and moisture in the air isn’t the same as steam.

2. Dyson says that the normal blower takes the nasty, germ-filled air and then blows it on you. Dirty dirty. But let’s please just remember that the air the normal blower uses is the same air you’re walking through and breathing, and even moving your hands through.

3. Dyson says that since most people don’t wait for the traditional blower to dry their hands (true), they leave with slightly wet hands (true). He says that those wet hands will then become a breeding place for microbes (they’ll “multiply thousands of times every minute”). And he says that because they’re wet, then when you touch things, you’re passing on and picking up germs.

3a. The thousands of times every minute line is an absolute bunch of bull. But even if it were true…

3b. The Dyson also leaves your hands slightly wet. Maybe slightly less wet than the blower, but not enough to matter in the 2 minutes it takes for them to fully dry.

3c. Wet or dry, when you touch things, you pass and pick up germs.

So the guy is full of it. Then he talks about his machine.

The first thing I noticed about the thing was that you have to put your hands in a narrow opening. It was a little like playing Operation. You’re gonna touch the sides of the thing, just like everyone else. The antimicrobial surface that he says is on the machine is far from perfect (as are all antimicrobial surfaces). He claims that there will be no microbes on the machine, but that’s ridiculous.

The second thing I noticed was that when the air started, water from my hands sprayed up onto me. Not a big deal, ’cause it was just a teeny bit of water.

And lastly, I didn’t find my hands to be any dryer than they are when I use a blower.

So. I mean. They look interesting, but they don’t really do anything worth spending money on.