Dyson Hand Dryer: "Blades of Glory"

Before eating at a local joint last night, I went to wash my hands.

There were three hand-drying options:

1. Paper.
2. Air blower.
3. Slick-looking Dyson hand-dryer.

I tried the Dyson and thought that it was mostly stupid. Then I watched a video about it and have revised my opinion. It’s completely stupid.

Let’s look at the reasons that Dyson gives for needing a new system:

1. Dyson says that the normal air blower works by using warm air to cause the water on your hands to evaporate. Ok. But he seems to think that evaporation means “boiling water and making steam on your hands.” Um, that would hurt, wouldn’t it?

Evaporation isn’t the same as boiling, and moisture in the air isn’t the same as steam.

2. Dyson says that the normal blower takes the nasty, germ-filled air and then blows it on you. Dirty dirty. But let’s please just remember that the air the normal blower uses is the same air you’re walking through and breathing, and even moving your hands through.

3. Dyson says that since most people don’t wait for the traditional blower to dry their hands (true), they leave with slightly wet hands (true). He says that those wet hands will then become a breeding place for microbes (they’ll “multiply thousands of times every minute”). And he says that because they’re wet, then when you touch things, you’re passing on and picking up germs.

3a. The thousands of times every minute line is an absolute bunch of bull. But even if it were true…

3b. The Dyson also leaves your hands slightly wet. Maybe slightly less wet than the blower, but not enough to matter in the 2 minutes it takes for them to fully dry.

3c. Wet or dry, when you touch things, you pass and pick up germs.

So the guy is full of it. Then he talks about his machine.

The first thing I noticed about the thing was that you have to put your hands in a narrow opening. It was a little like playing Operation. You’re gonna touch the sides of the thing, just like everyone else. The antimicrobial surface that he says is on the machine is far from perfect (as are all antimicrobial surfaces). He claims that there will be no microbes on the machine, but that’s ridiculous.

The second thing I noticed was that when the air started, water from my hands sprayed up onto me. Not a big deal, ’cause it was just a teeny bit of water.

And lastly, I didn’t find my hands to be any dryer than they are when I use a blower.

So. I mean. They look interesting, but they don’t really do anything worth spending money on.

9 Responses to Dyson Hand Dryer: "Blades of Glory"

  1. Kevin August 27, 2009 at 10:24 am #

    So, having never heard of or seen one of these, I had to Google to find a picture. As you said, they look “interesting”. Interesting in a “is that some kind of self-service sexual appliance in the men’s restroom” kind of way.

    I think I’ll get one for my bathroom.

  2. weeklyrob August 27, 2009 at 12:27 pm #

    I did link to a video of it, but you’re the second person who didn’t notice that I’d done so, so I obviously didn’t make it clear enough. Maybe I’ll fix that now.

    I have no response to the self-service thingy, but I do think it would go nicely in your place.

  3. BruceS August 27, 2009 at 1:54 pm #

    Well *I* saw the link, and watched the video. It was quite entertaining. I thought about commenting on the exceptional quality of the camera work, but decided against it. FWIW, not all blowers work by boiling the water off your hands. Some use much cooler (maybe it isn’t even heated) air, at a high enough velocity to blow the air off. They do this without Dyson’s “knife” setup, and aside from being loud and deforming the skin on the hands, seem to work admirably.

  4. Kevin August 27, 2009 at 3:36 pm #

    Man, I hovered all over that article trying to find the link and just couldn’t do it until the 4th pass. The “Operation” link I found right away, but maybe because it was split across two lines I just could not find the video link. Sorry!

  5. weeklyrob August 27, 2009 at 7:11 pm #

    Actually, the link was just one word until I made it longer to help the link-challenged.

  6. BruceS August 28, 2009 at 10:20 am #

    I noticed the difference in color, and was expecting a link, so it was easy for me. Then again, I’ve been an IT professional since the ’80s, so maybe I have a technical advantage. Hey, why aren’t the links underlined and blue, like God Himself (or maybe it was some standards committee; I get them mixed up) said hyperlinks should be?

  7. weeklyrob August 28, 2009 at 11:43 am #

    They aren’t blue and underlined because, um, some reason.

  8. danielle August 31, 2009 at 10:12 pm #

    Ridiculous. Just like all of the other idiotic things people buy – like pre-cut tape (because it’s too difficult to cut the tape on the plastic thing) or razors with 19 blades, because just a few isn’t enough, or special shaving cream for women. huh?!

  9. BruceS September 1, 2009 at 2:04 pm #

    Pre-cut tape? I don’t think I’ve seen that one. I just finished doing a bit of taping, and it would have been nice if someone cut all the tape to length for me first. Only, how would they know the right lengths? My razors have one or two blades, and my wife and I use the same shaving cream, labeled “Soft Soap”. I guess we’re just not the kind of upstanding citizens who help support the economy.

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