Warning!

Ok, everyone’s used to all the idiotic warning labels on everyday objects. Stuff like, “M & M’s are not to be injected subcutaneously.”

And we all wonder whether any given label was inspired by a lawsuit, or was just preventative planning by the in-house lawyers. At least, I wonder. Sometimes.

So I won’t talk about those kinds of labels. It’s over-done.

Today I was eating a pastry snack. A tart, if you will. Yes, and it was supposed to be toasted. In fact, this tart is intended to pop out of the toaster when it’s ready. But I won’t tell you the name.

I didn’t use the toaster, choosing instead to eat it cold (and more importantly, immediately). While nibbling on the edges, I had a look at the wrapper. And there, in RED, was the following warning:

Due to possible risk of fire, never leave your toasting appliance or microwave unattended.

Forget about the fact that someone thought that saying, “toasting appliance” is better than “toaster.” (Though it does surprise me that they didn’t bother to put “oven” after “microwave,” thereby including all the microwaves that are not confined to ovens.)

Forget about that.

They didn’t say that you shouldn’t leave it unattended while it’s plugged in (which would already be ridiculous). They didn’t say to never leave it unattended while plugged in AND actually toasting something (which would still be ridiculous).

They said to never leave it unattended. Never.

And these are the same people who are cautious enough to include *three* steps in the instructions for toasting, including, “Cool briefly before carefully removing pastry from toasting appliance.”

So, do they actually expect anyone to follow this advice? (See how this is the opposite of the other kind of over-done warning thingy? Those are all about how no one would actually eat the shampoo, so why warn them not to. But this one is about how the warning/suggestion will not be followed by anyone.)

I just wonder who thought that it was important to put in a warning that no one in his right mind would follow. Even a generous reading of the warning (including things like: while it’s toasting) still doesn’t make it a very useful warning. Are YOU going to stand by your microwave oven the next time you bake a potato for 8 minutes?

2 Responses to Warning!

  1. BruceS March 14, 2008 at 11:20 am #

    Thanks for reposting this. It had me in tears again.

  2. Mom March 23, 2008 at 1:26 pm #

    Ok- I’ll admit it- I don’t remember seeing this post before. I was laughing the whole way through- a good start to a Sunday morning. Thanks.
    Mom

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